I'd like to chat with the inventor of T9, one day. Me places it in front, there.
Just ahead, I imagine him looking paciarotto, with his first class air. The
offer her a cup of tea, because it certainly is one who does not drink alcohol, must necessarily be one who drinks lots of tea and coffee. The
would offer pastries, also good, not at all poisonous.
'd wait to see him bite into the green cherry shortbread to lock the wrist and ask:
- Now tell me, why do not I sleep at night: how the hell did you come to put "you" as the first option instead of "you"?
Who has never sms received the infamous nineteenth-century "step you take tonight?
And when he embarrassed cough, he ingolferà, you beat your chest and try to get with his pale, chubby hand to the cup of tea, I make even more grip and ask:
- And then, how the fuck you failed to put "fear" as the first option as opposed to "excuse"?
Eh?
"Fear, I'm late."
Who uses the word "fear" in sms? To those who think like you perfect, ugly moron? Al Lucarelli
crime writer?
Stephen King? Tell
.
At this point I'd eat a pastry chewing too fast to show off nervosismo.
E perché (sputando briciole di pasticcino) quando scrivo "tu" mi viene fuori "tv"? Eh?
Prendi le mazzette dalla Rai o da Mediaset?
A questo punto lui cercherebbe di bofonchiare qualcosa, quasi sicuramente delle spiegazioni tecniche.
Io lo interromperei bloccandogli anche l'altro polso.
A una mia amica è arrivato un messaggio che diceva: "Ti rifaccio gli ampliodoti per il meraviglioso sorriso!"
- Cosa sono gli ampliodoti, razza di imbecille?
Eh? I complimenti?
"Ampliodoti" n-o-n-e-s-i-s-t-e, gigantesca e inutile testa di cazzo! Il tuo dizionario è pieno di parole che n-o-n-e-s-i-s-t-o-n-o. Su nessun pianeta registrato e abitato da forme di vita basate on carbon!
At this point, remove the cup before, I would raise and put it in the sink.
So, to make a housekeeper while he suffocates cyanotic.
With a firm voice I would say (perhaps rubbing my hands on her apron):
- A friend of mine is called Savior. Ok, has a name like shit, we agree. His parents are foreigners and they had great expectations.
fact is that because of your fucking T9 he no longer called a Savior, which is a bad name.
now called Pathos, which is even worse.
And to tell you how many lives you've messed up.
My friend Bernard, for example.
Ok, is a name of shit too, we all agree and in fact is a friend of Savior, but it is already better off.
San Bernardo cites him even Dante's Divine Comedy.
However, dear Tampin Bernard was a girl, ok?
Carina, thin, beautiful breasts.
He was even able to get his number and he was sending the first message gallant essential to break the damn ice.
The message read: "Would you like tonight when we go to eat something and then we go to dance?" I bring to XY, there's my friend who makes the discs. There her home myself. "
And apart from that it seems written by Mozart.
But this is a part.
At one point, the space was almost finished, so you are not signed Bernardo "Bernard", but "Bern".
Come on, is cool, it seems almost as horrible as German Bernd.
pity that the message has arrived, signed by the "Afro", as if to imply an individual with a fucking eight feet, plausibly determined to round off the evening a bit 'on the couch and a bit' where it happens.
Obviously the girl in question has never made more alive, and killed himself in the poor African blowjobs.
Among other things it took him a bit '.
At this point, staring eyes.
no Afro, Mr. T9.
One writes "help", you know?
"help" that is simple and is also an important word. Can
return extremely useful in emergencies. So
"help", ok?
So far so good.
But then, suddenly, just one is nervous and crush the button one more time and becomes "helped".
And here is already less well.
But if you are particularly nervous and crush the button again, it becomes "bitumen".
That's right, my friend.
"bitumen".
bitumen mean?
Yes, you mean bitumen.
Why is there a while, maybe in the middle of a tornado, the first thing you need is bitumen.
It seems to me quite logical.
So if you know the fucking bitumen word, I want to know who the hell uses it in a text message, because I do not take the word "shit"?
you think there are more people in the world that says "shit" or writing "tar"?
See you. But
eye because there are a number of variations on "I love you" that our friend did not, apparently, never wrote to anyone.
And presumably even to a dead soul ...
) "with you" ( eh? Please?)
2) "I love you" (a little 'out of fashion, but at least there is the verb and the recipient perhaps makes it to understand)
3) "I amm" (EU, uagilò ...)
4 ) "I bon" (Note steak)
5) "Ti anm" (un volgare insulto in foggiano)
6) "Ti coo" (quasi in dialetto lombardo/veneto, ma senza senso)
7) "Ti bom" (nota bistecca ma con pronuncia differente)
8) "Ti ano" (vabbè, forse anche per questo bisogna domandarsi quanti usano la parola “ano” negli sms…)
9) "Tg com" (eh? Prego? Parte 2)
10) "Tg cnn" (mabafangula)
Quindi, carissimo signor T9: o me ne fai uno che impara l’italiano come si deve oppure mi rifai questo qua che così fa venire il mal di pancia.
Olè.
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